Charlie's account of Old Boys Sports day

Dear All,
The first weekend of April, 2003, will go down in history for many reasons.  It was soooo good, and it was a pity that so many of you were missing.  It was, of course, Old Boys Sports Day.
For Tom, Nath and myself, the chaos started on Friday night.  It was probably the casual consumption of a litre and a half of vodka between us that acted as a catalyst for going absolutely crazy.  It goes someway towards explaining Nathan's interpretation of Tom's fancy dress strap-on butt-cheeks.  It didn't help when most of Tom's London friends (who periodically come up to show us how it's done and just as importantly, how it shouldn't be done) left Mutz Nutz after we'd order 2 rounds of drinks for them.  But it wasn't the silly number of alcopops we consumed that did the damage.
Tom, in his drunken stupour, decided it would be a wise and fun to try and drink his friend under the carpet.  His friend was (WAS) nicknamed Bison because of his drinking abilities, but Stuart is now nicknamed bitch cos that's what we made him.  7 or 8 rounds of double vodka (I can't confirm that number, my memory was patchy at best around this point) later and our bitch, Stuart, disappeared.  Apparently, we had a good time doing it - despite Tom going to the gents twice to throw up and our psyching eachother up by slapping each others faces.  What was amazing was that I was walking afterwards.  What was a miracle was that Nathan was still alive afterwards.  We're not big drinkers by any stretch of the imagination, but at least I have a bit of bulk to absorb it.  Two words for the end of that evening: messy kebabs.
Stuart was found by his cockney mates back at the hotel.  The scene; he had passed out, head down the toilet, sick down his legs, shit in his buttcrack.  Vomitting whilst shitting... I pray he cannot remember.  He won't be allowed to forget.  If you are reading Stuart, we owned you, you bitch.
Just to show everybody what Kings we were, we made it to the Old Boys Sports day.  Chico and Rudi have an excuse; namely not being in the country.  Where was everybody else?  Vince, Goose, Wolf, Ranny, many many more... you fat fucks (and in Goose's case, you skinny fuck).
The large number of absentees meant that Nath, Tom and I were conscripted by Matt (Durrant) to play rugby.  We did our best to show how ignorant we were of the rules; Nath repeatedly ankle tapped and tripped, Tom played the most spectacular foul of the afternoon shoving 1 opponent into another whilst they were in full flight, an
* Not completely severed from the toe - an important distinction for later.
The Old Boys meal was the usual
The Ong, Clarke and Chundar boosted our numbers before Durrant, who took part in the boat race after suffering from some rather strict application of some rather annoying drinking game rules (aka double tap and safe drinks), became an early victim.  His choice of puke recepticles could have been better.
A few kangaroos, pints and snakebites later, we got some girls to smuggle us into horney.  Finger introduced us to some of the night's designated fancy dress as we made the most
Nath, following the rugby and 3 nights out (lucky lad got to go to the annual ball for the French c
It was worth it.
Hope to see you more of you at the next outing....
PS.  Thanks to Nath for the camera and the internet presence... a full album of this event and previous ones can be found on his webpage at www.nathanbower.com - good stuff!
PPS.  Soz Ong, you made yourself an easy target! :)